Mission Accomplished - Grilli Gone.
Dave Dombrowski has heard our voice and finally found the cure for the Grilli Virus - send it to high altitude of Colorado. He even got a minor league pitcher in exchange. Granted, we here at GrilliSucks would have been content with a bucket of sun flower seeds. Reality is Zach Simons must really suck if the Rockies were willing to give him up in exchange for Grilli. It seems as if he hasn’t faired well in low minor league A ball, though he has a decent fastball clocked in the mid to low 90s. This season he had a very Grilli-esque game posting a 54.00 ERA in 0.1 innings worked…and for some reason has a tatoo of his agent on his right shoulder. He seems like kind of a dork from minor league scouting reports we’ve read. We’ll take him.
So with Grilli gone, how did the Tigers respond last night in the Bronx?
- Placido “Domingo” Polanco knocked out 2 homers.
- Jeremy Googly Eyes Bonderman completed all his anti-Grilli Virus treatments and pitched a solid game. After giving up 2 runs in the first (he sucks in the 1st inning consistently since last year), Bondo straightened out his eyes going 7 2/3 innings allowing 5 hits and retired 12 batters in a row.
- Rapada came out of the bullpen, induced 3 ground outs and struck out Melky for the win.
Things we can’t wait to see:
- Francisco Cruceta on the mound.
- Jason Grilli striking out at bat in the NL.
- Consistent production out of our starters.
- The Colorado Rockies GrilliSucks.com blog.
So what’s the bottom line? GrilliSucks has accomplished it’s goal - Jason Grilli is no longer a Tiger!
…and what does Jason have to say about all this:
(Actual quote from Jason Grilli. What he really meant in bold)
“I’m arbitration-eligible,” Grilli said. “There’s several guys [even James Van Horne] here who pretty much can do the same thing as me. Miner’s got a year and a half of doing the same kind of role [even though he sucks almost as bad as I do]. Galarraga’s doing a heck of a job. He’s got options. I know this business. With Cruceta and all the hype and talk about him, they’re trying to create a roster spot. There’s things happening around here [like players spraying me with Lysol]. It’s been on the tip of the tongue since Spring Training, even this offseason. [Can you blame them? I suck]
“I won’t be the last. When one move gets made, there’s usually several others that follow. [ I expect Miner to be optioned down or dealt too in order to make room for D-Train’s return]”
“I think I did a good job for what my role was [that is being the official scape goat of the Tigers]. I know there’s a lot of people who probably would think differently [like the fans of GrilliSucks.com and a growing myspace community]. But to those people, I’m going to say thank you, because I’m a bigger person than people who don’t like the way my eyebrows are, my face, or the way I pitch.
(We here at GrilliSucks know that you are talking about us)
“We’re criticized. We’re in the limelight. We’re public figures. The one thing I had against some Tigers’ fans is that they should be pulling for their team, no matter what. I didn’t think that was always there, but I definitely enjoyed pitching for the Tigers, whether I got cheered or booed.
(To clarify Mr. Grilli - we DID pull for the team. We pulled for the Tigers. We WANTED you to succeed. Your success meant the Tigers succeeded. YOU FAILED! When you failed, you let down the team. The boos were solely for YOU not the team…not the Tigers…just YOU.)
“Maybe I was the lightning rod for that on this team. But I surely didn’t get cheered as much for the role that I was given, I thought.”
Well Jason…we here at GrilliSucks would like to cheer you on for the role that you’ve always had with us - the scape goat of our beloved Detroit Tigers and virus to your teammates. Your final comments here prove to us all that you’ve always been a whining cry baby who sought affirmation from the fans of Detroit. You never could take the criticism which is what truly made you pathetic. Need we remind you of your response with the whole myspace fiasco? If you don’t know what we’re talking about check it out here -> myspace fiasco on rodallengame.com We’re primed for the rest of the season now. With you gone the time has truly come to make our run at the World Series.
Thank you, Jason, for being the douche bag that you are.
Grilli Sucks is done…in Detroit.
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